I know my last blog was extremely depressing, but I’ve come to the realization that life is extremely confusing and that you can never know what’s going to happen in the future. However, when you do look back, you realize that certain things have to happen in order for the good things to fall into place.
I haven’t really had much luck in the men department. I blame myself partially because my life is super busy and the fact that I am extremely picky when choosing a mate. I honestly have only met two people that I would even consider wanting to marry. I’m not saying that every guy that I’ve dated or have had a relationship were horrible. Every single one of them obviously had qualities that I liked, but I just couldn’t see myself being with them for the long run. I haven’t had the best upbringing, but the one thing that I did admire about my parents was the fact that no matter how tough times were, they always stuck together until my father passed away. I think nowadays, couples don’t really take marriage seriously. They take the easy way out by divorcing. What’s the point of marrying someone and then divorcing them? Why not just not get married in the first place? That would’ve saved a lot of time and money, right? Anyway, I may be getting old and am still single, but that’s only because I don’t want to be one of those people who get married and then get a divorce about a month later. I want to be married once and once only.
I have a history of dating douchebags, however, I have turned over a new page in my life and I can now say that I am glad I met them. They have taught me how to detect other douchebags and now I can appreciate and realize it when I do have something good presented to me. Or at least I hope I am more aware of walking red flags.
I think I am very different. I have always known this about me. It’s this strange feeling of being in a room filled with people yet you feel really alone. You know physically you’re not alone, but mentally & emotionally, you feel alone. You don’t feel as though anyone truly understands who you are. You don’t feel as though you truly belong. I have a very quirky personality that you either hate or love. I have so many deal breaking qualities about me that it would take a very special type of person to want to do life with me. Who knows, maybe I am meant to be alone in this lifetime. I sure hope not, but you never know. I think when it all comes down to it, the key to a successful relationship is open communication. It doesn’t take a brainiac to realize that, but I think it’s pretty rare to find someone who can communicate on the same level as you and speak your language, and is not afraid to express how they really feel. Communication was the key ingredient that was missing from all of the guys from my past. The person you fall in love with will not be the same person you met in the beginning if you do life together for eternal. We all change and I think if you and your partner have great communication at baseline, it truly will help down the line. It’s like learning a whole new person, but this whole new person is someone you are still madly in love with.
Wow, I need to stop rambling like I am some sort of love expert or Carrie Bradshaw because we all know that if I was an expert, I’d probably have better luck in the men department. Sheesh, I am such a hopeless romantic and a dreamer just longing for my own happily ever ending.
It is pretty late and I should catch some Zzzzs! Goodnight! 🙂
