I am completely OCD so I have to have individual posts for each of my poems! They can’t all just be posted as a single entry otherwise it’ll bug the hell out of me!
I call this one “Falling” and it was written based on someone that I was dating at the time. We lost touch a while back, but had gotten back in contact just last month! I hadn’t logged onto my AIM in years and when I finally did, I didn’t recognize half of the people on my buddy list. All of a sudden, I got an IM from him and this was a screen name I did not forget. How could I? He has a really unique and clever screen name that I was the only one who was able to decipher. I felt pretty smart because it was a screen name that was directly related to a Pearl Jam song. I’m trying my best to not reveal his screen name, but at the same time tell you how genius his screen name is! I find it really difficult to come up with screen names because I’m lame like that, but you can tell he put much thought into this screen name. Okay, so his screen name was based on the song “Rearviewmirror” by Pearl Jam. His screen name consisted of three letters and then he reversed those letters and added that into the mix. Get it? It’s like a reflection in the mirror. I got it immediately when I saw the screen name. He was freaking out because no one has ever guessed the meaning behind the name. Wow, it looks like I have ADHD and OCD! Look at how my mind wandered from my poem and straight to talking about screen names! Needless to say, things ended pretty badly, but it’s amazing how 3 years can fly by and the chemistry is still there. It almost feels like no time has gone by and no life altering changes have occurred. Even though now our relationship is strictly platonic, I am very glad that we have gotten back in contact. I can honestly say that we have NEVER ever had a dull conversation before. I can talk to him about absolutely anything and we’ll just be laughing our butts off the whole time.
Okay, back to the poem. This poem was written based on my experience with him and when things had ended.
“Falling”
By M. S.
Every time the lights dim
You creep into my mind without warning
Outstretched are my limbs
Trying to reach for you as I’m falling.
My eyes are shut tight
I’m descending faster than ever
And you’re nowhere in sight
Even when you promised me forever.
Crashing into the bottom of the abyss
I think I’m dead, I’m in extreme pain.
The darkness devours me, I can’t see your face.
I realize disappointment is all I’ll gain.
My lips are moving rapidly
but I have no voice.
You made the decision for me
and leave me with no choice.
I had no idea until it was too late
I want to erase you from my memories,
But my bleeding heart won’t let me forget.
Thoughts of you still haunt me.
