Oh Boy!

You broke my heart before, but I didn’t learn my lesson.  We didn’t speak for three months, but apparently, I couldn’t stay away from the drama.  You were my weakness.  I was like a moth attracted to your flame.  My head told me NO, while my heart told me YES.  I promised myself I would erase your number from my cell, but yet it still remains there.  I told myself I would have enough self control to not contact you, but I failed miserably.  A part of me was happy that I had contacted you.  I refused to lose contact with you because I saw something in you.  I felt you were different from the rest.  I wanted to have you in my life.  I was hoping that things would be different this time.  I was hoping you’d learn your lesson from the first time around.  Just like you, obviously, I had not learned my lesson because I decided to give you a second chance.  This second chance was a mistake.  Once again, I have allowed you to crush my heart and give me false hope.  We were opposites, yet we had so much in common.  I got along and enjoyed being around with your friends & family, but I knew in my heart that I would never fit in or have a place in your life, but I still kept hoping and dreaming.  When you were drunk, you always could count on me to give you a ride home no matter what time or where.  When you were passed out at your friend’s house, I took care of you and let you sleep on the sofa while I slept on the floor.  When you wanted certain albums to place on your ipod, I burned you a whole bunch of albums so you could easily drag it onto your ipod.  When you were having problems and didn’t feel comfortable talking to the boys, I was always there to listen and give you advice.  You despised the fact that you grew up not really having a mother figure.  You hated how when you were younger, she’d take you along with her to go cheating on your father with other men.  You were disgusted how she’d take you with her to bars to meet other men and get drunk.  Unfortunately, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.  You have become the monster that you hated oh so much growing up.  I know you probably won’t ever understand, but there won’t be a third chance.  Your second chance was your final chance.  Whether you realize it or not, you have done nothing, but take advantage of my generosity.  I’ll never trust you again with my heart.  I know you’ll never read this because I have already removed you from my Myspace and Facebook friend list.  I am just waiting on getting my stuff back from you before you disappear from my contact list on my cell permanently.  I have texted you to see when we can do the exchange and you have not responded.  I sure hope you are not trying to pull out another trick from your sleeve because when push comes to shove, I can be someone that you wished you never met.  You are 6 months older than I am, but apparently, you still have a lot of growing up to do.  I know you love to play your yo-yo mind games, but the game is over for good this time.  I don’t deserve this.  I deserve something so much better than this.  

Love Always,

M    

Anyway, apparently word got around and he read this blog entry and totally flipped.  I think I need to learn a lesson for once and stop trying to be too nice.  You know that saying that nice guys finish last?  Well, nice girls finish last too.